Why I Don't Watch Public Television

I should watch public television.  I'm exactly the kind of person who should.  I'm extremely educated, and I like the arts.  Hell, I've even recently started watching Opera.  Yes, Opera.  I discovered that local theaters show broadcasts from the Met.  I've also discovered that watching Opera is so much better than just listening to it.  

So why don't I watch public television?  Let's take tonight for example.  I came home from work, turned on the tv, and saw a listing for a show called Too Jewish?  It's a taping of a one-man show by a guy named Avi Hoffman.  This caught my eye because I've actually been studying Judasim lately.  I've been reading books and even listening to audio lectures from a Orthodox Jewish website (www.aish.com).  No, I'm not converting.  But I study different religions.  They fascinate me.  I've studied Buddism, Hinduism, Taosim, Confucianism, Manicheianism, Gnosticism, tribial religions of various continents, and world mythology in general.  As for Christainity, I was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school my whole life and have just had enough; as for Islam, you're next.  This is your only warning.

So I turned on the program and what did I see: a pledge drive thingy.  What the fuck?  Okay, if you want to ask for money, do it.  Take a minute and do it.  This thing lasted for 20 minutes.  I took a bath, came back, and they were still asking for money.  This is the worst thing you could do if you want people to watch your programming.  Which is a shame; I'm finally watching what I tuned in to watch, and its great.  But pretty soon, they'll do another money thing, and I'll get disgusted and turn it off.  Hopefully, I can find this show on DvD.  I'll already checked Amazon, and they don't have it. 

Oh well, end of rant.

My First Post

Since this is my first post, I thought I start out with a funny story.

I was recently staying at my friend Mike's house (www.mikepoore.net) while he was away. I had just gotten back from buying food (since Mike has nothing in his fridge except beer) and realized I'd forgotten a few things. I got back in my truck and rushed over to the local CVS. After running in and grabbing a couple of items, I realized that I had to take off my pants.

No, I'm not a pervert. At least, not a public one. As I was approaching the checkout counter, I felt something moving in them that wasn't me. I patted around, felt a sting, and realized: I had a bee in my pants. I was sure it was a bee because, well, I'd just been stung for one, and also because I'd had to let two out of my truck window on the way over. A third must have crawled up my leg without me knowing.

I stood there for five minutes, stranded in indecision. An employee was nearby; I considered telling her the situation and letting her stand in front of me while I pulled my pants down. Finally, I carefully walked to an area of the store that was empty (and had some displays that I could hide behind) and depantsed myself. There was a red mark on my right inner thigh where I'd felt the sting, but there was no bee that I could see. Maybe the bee had gone back down my leg? Aren't bees supposed to die after they sting? And since I'm asking questions: was I about to die from a massive allergic reaction to bee venom? I had no idea since I've never been stung before.

With a lot on my mind, I pulled up my pants and walked back to the counter and paid for my stuff. No one had noticed what I'd just done. As I was getting in my truck, I dropped my pants to my ankles and hopped into the driver's seat.

Red mark, no bee. Then I sucked my stomach in a little.

There was the bee, crawling around on my underwear by my right hip. I gave it a little swat, and it flew onto the steering wheel. It rubbed one antenna with its leg and flew out the window I opened for it. The bee had been through so much already, I decided to be kind.

So endeth my tale of the bee. Hopefully, when the bee tells the story of being in my pants, it will also be kind.

Just Read: A Madness of Angels by Kate Griffin, My Name is Asher Lev by Chaim Potok, The Gift of Asher Lev by Chaim Potok

Currently Reading: A Beautiful Blue Death by Charles Finch